Why I swapped school leadership for advising all things; Diversity & Inclusion, and growing as a tutor…

So, after a lengthy quiet period online of being too busy to do the things close to my heart, I have finally got around to linking my last blog (written for Diverse Educators in June 2023) to my website. I am reminded why I began blogging in the first place.

I set out to document my journey. My journey of getting my stories published in an attempt to help other writers avoid pitfalls I have made and hopefully gain better results for themselves. I want people to learn as a result of reading about my experiences. But my journey goes beyond books and writing.

I was recently lucky enough to work with Olly Pike (PopNOlly) again as part of the LGBTQ+ Pride celebrations at Capital One. Talking to him, we compared very similar stories of publishing that resulted in us coming to the same conclusion; self-publishing our work gave us more control over the final results of our work. It was refreshing to make this link. (Thanks Olly!)

It is the regaining of control that has driven the significant changes I have made in my career over the past few months.

I’m not going to whine on and on about how difficult the teaching profession and school leadership is, because all manner of roles are equally, if not more, challenging in one way or another. I bow down to the challenges of doctors, nurses, the police force, indeed all the emergency services. I could never do any of those jobs (not least because I faint at the first sight of blood). Knowing the challenges my dad faced as a coal miner (both physically and mentally), I don’t think I would have been cut out to do that either. And despite my love of the arts, I take my hat off to any professional (or semi-pro) performer. Each and every job, regardless of what it is, has its good days and bad days. Its challenges and rewards.

Teaching for me is and always has been a vocation. I had wanted to teach ever since being a small child. I lined up my teddies to take the register and then casually scolded them for not doing as they were told in lessons.

Like many other professions these days, teaching has become progressively more challenging and increasingly more interfered with by successive governments wanting to make a vote-winning impact. Other professionals will tell you the same.

As demands and challenges have got ever harder, pay has become frozen and ever less rewarding; hence the wave of strike action from all manner of workers across the UK. I’m not joining the bandwagon demanding “fairer pay.” I get the predicament the government has to deal with. With only a finite amount of money in the bank, they have to make tough decisions and can only realise what we can afford. (Don’t get me started on a political rampage about how we have found ourselves in this mess in the first place; that’s another story). Working conditions though are an altogether different demand.

We need to sometimes take stock and re-evaluate what is important in life. This is exactly what I did.

After yet another year of beyond ridiculous expectations and challenges, I found myself working longer hours than ever. It wasn’t until my husband sat me down and told me I needed to seek help that I even realised there was a problem. Even then, I found it hard to put myself first and continued to look at ways I could make ends meet for my school. If nothing else, I wasn’t going to be told I wasn’t a trier! When it came to it over the summer, I realised how ill the continued and unrelenting pressure had made me.

The Autumn saw me finally begin to take stock. A big part was the reading I did around what I actually wanted to be remembered for.

Many school leaders have gone through the beasting of an unfair and draconian OFSTED inspection. I need more than just my own fingers and toes to name and count those bruised leaders I personally know alone. In February 2023, the news of Ruth Perry taking her own life as a direct result of an adverse OFSTED inspection downgrading her school to inadequate came as an emotional blow to the whole teaching community. I took it very personally as it resonated with how I had been made to feel almost four years earlier. Looking back, I don’t know how I did it. Some-how though I managed to cling on to the determination to prove to the inspection regime that the school I led was not one to be resigned to the scrap heap. The whole staff, governors, pupils and community deserved more than being cut down to nothing based on the judgements of a couple of individuals on a couple of days (just into the start of an academic year to boot). The parental comments of support helped give me some strength here and I am forever indebted to a few who shall not be named for their generosity with their kind words at the time!

I am now able to look back on my achievements with the school with a sense of pride; knowing how much I learned from my time there (because schools are a place of learning for everyone, not just the pupils). Aside from the physical redevelopment of the school, empowering middle and senior leaders to overhaul the curriculum in its entirety and creating an ethos and culture of respect for equality and diversity, I know I impacted the lives of many individuals across the time I was there.

I learned a great deal about myself as a result of the efforts I put in. I firstly came to realise the challenges I overcame in the first place to get to the privileged position of school leader. Overcoming the legacy of Section 28 (see my last blog) first-hand, as a student; not having the role-models I should have been able to look up to. Overcoming the loneliness and isolation this brought. Overcoming the fear of “being caught” as I embarked on my journey to become a teacher in a church school. Looking back, I was not the queer role model I should have been in the early days of my career for fear of retribution. I’m not proud of this but I understand why I took the necessary steps to lead in effect what was a double life.

I eventually took the tentative steps of “coming out” to staff in the early days of my school leadership but was still afraid of being “too visible” in other areas of my job. As I moved into my final school-leadership role, seeing how hard some of the stakeholders had to fight, gave me the confidence to finally say, enough is enough. Why should someone feel the need to be ashamed of who they are? Everyone, regardless of gender, race, sexuality, indeed any characteristics, deserves the right to feel safe, feel loved, feel valued.

Being part of my last school gave me many opportunities I may never have had, ranging from working with Stonewall, unions and the BBC to such talented individuals as Andrew Moffatt and Olly Pike. (The list of opportunities is exhausting as there are too many people to name personally).

So why the change? Well in essence, I got lucky! I wouldn’t perhaps have said this at the time, but I can see it now. I saw an opportunity and I grasped it with both hands.

Life is short. Ruth Perry is testament to this. When my time does come, I want to say I have achieved everything I wanted to (and there is a long list yet!). Granted, I’m not earning the same salary as being a headteacher. Nor do I have the same income security (yet). I am however happy in what I am doing, and feel I am making a contribution to society in some small way.

I get the opportunity to visit and work with a great many different schools (now venturing into secondary too!) as well as the corporate world of business. I am fortunate to work with fresh new groups of people entering the wonderful profession that is education (both undergraduates and teachers at the start of their careers as well as experienced staff). I now have opportunities far beyond the walls of one school and feel I can influence more young people’s minds to become the queer role model I never had as a child growing up.

I am also continuing to write; getting my work out, piece by piece. I have lots of exciting plans in the pipeline and can’t wait to see what other opportunities I can leap at and what else I can achieve.

Oh, and don’t think I am done with teaching; no way, no I’m not! I now have more time to work with individuals, tutoring a broad range of individuals across Key Stages 1 to 4. I’m continuing to learn such a lot as a result!

So watch this space as I keep you updated on my journey…